That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
