why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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