party gras won. party gras always wins.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize