I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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