I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
