Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
