no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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