Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
