I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
