just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
