wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
