you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
