I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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