Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
sarcasm needs its own font
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
