6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
