If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
