I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
