I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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