He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
