Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
