Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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