and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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