actually, I'm a sock model
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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