I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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