do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think people are normalizing furries
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
