i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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