This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
