did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
