doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
