i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
