and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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