Betty ford says i'm here all night
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize