i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
