so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
