I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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