im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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