Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i think i just lost a toe
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
