This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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