I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
