Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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