This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
sex in a hospital.. check
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
