There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize