youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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