If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
