did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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