how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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