What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
