watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
