You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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