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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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