well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
