My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
