You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
