You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
