Your face is a jimmy john
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
