Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
